My time as an Oxford student finally ended about a week ago. It’s summer in the UK, and time of some serious reflection on what I want to do, and where I want to live. I hate the waiting, the transition, the pause that happens when something ends and you are not entirely sure about what will come next.
The uncertainty of it all makes me nervous. I want things, and I want them now. I want to know.
Summer in Oxford has always been quiet time for me. Students are gone, the people I used to be with all the time. Some of them, I know, I’ll never meet again, and I have never been particularly good at saying goodbye. I already miss some people so much I can barely breath.
At the same time, I also miss home. I found this blog: Tuulen naapurina, and looking at the pictures from Finland, I was more home-sick than I have probably ever been during the last three years. I’m not going home this summer – not at least until I know what will happen next in my life, and I really miss all the little things from home just now. My family and friends, obviously, but also things like drinking afternoon coffee with some pulla, video rental stores from where you could pick up your favourite 80s movies and buy loads of sweets at the same go, red currant bushes in my parents’ garden, rice pasties with egg-butter, and the sea. I have never lived away from the sea until now, and I miss the smell of it more than anything else.