I’m looking for a job. It’s mid-July, so probably not the best possible time for that, with lots of fresh graduates out there, and half of the people out on vacation. All one can do is to send out applications (by the dozen), and then wait, wait, wait, until someone takes notice.
I’m not a very good waiter. Having to wait endlessly, only to be turned down, is really dispiriting – particularly so, when you know you would have been perfectly able and qualified for a job taking photocopies and making coffee. I have a dream career, and standing just outside it, banging on the gate, trying to find the low, slightly fallen down bit on the fence to climb over is rather depressing. And the bits that come with sitting and waiting are not fun either – not being able to afford things, not being able to go away from Oxford (which just might be the worst summer place on earth), not being able to go home in Finland, not being able to move out of the student digs. I miss my family terribly, and not being sure when I’ll be able to see them again is the most depressing thing. My oldest friend just had a baby, and I’ll probably won’t see him until he’s walking.
It’s also a bit sad being still in Oxford and having nothing much to do. Most people are gone, and even those who are around you only see every now and then. Downtown is full of tourists who crowd the streets and are always on one’s way. There are parks but no water, and definitely no swimming places, and the only really nice restaurants and pubs are far away and expensive.
— In a word, this all makes me whine-y. Annoyingly.